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2,000 JOBS
(Emery
Pike-Sean Pike)
The
Corporation announced today that it is eliminating 2,000 positions as part
of a continuing performance
project designed to lift earnings per share by 40 to 50 cents over the next
four quarters.
The project will enable
earnings improvement through revenue enhancement, productivity gains, more
focused capital deployment, and expense re-calibration.
“This resource realignment
continues a thoughtful process that will make the Corporation stronger and
more competitive” said the CEO. “In order to compete effectively, the
Company must continue to sharpen performance and take decisive actions.”
The positions to be
eliminated were identified through an internal productivity study focused
on enhancing work processes, embracing new technology, expanding control
functions, eliminating layers of management, and encouraging an
entrepreneurial spirit across the Company.
Emery – Narrator
Sean Pike – Comic Relief
Voices, accidental noises, found sounds, and
contrived imitations performed live by Emery and Sean and captured live in
the studio by the historic NBC Studios RCA 77-DX ribbon mic.
Additional editing and mixing by John Pfiffner.
© 2002 Daddy Thunder Musik
Emery’s Notes:
Sean and I love Frank
Zappa’s humor and satire, so we were inspired to write a “press release”
that the CEO featured on my single might have written or approved. It’s a
“call and response” format where the narration is lampooned by “real
people” telling it like it is, with accompanying sound effects.
Most press releases are done
for “spin control”, and this one is no different. If you’re going to lay
off 2,000 people, why not just come out and say it?! Probably would’nt look
good, especially when inept management is to blame a lot of the time. And
then our precious stock options would’nt go up would they?
My grandad was a Technical Director for NBC
Studios in New York during the birth and early years of television, and I
inherited the actual RCA 77-DX ribbon mics that were used for uncounted
live broadcasts from those early days; thus the “historic” reference.
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